1) News leaks that celebrity is considering admitting to something
2) People report the rumor. Other people say it’s only a rumor. No one really cares that much.
3) News leaks that the celebrity has in fact admitted to something. But it hasn’t been published/aired yet
4) People report the news. Other people say yeah we heard that ages ago. No one really cares that much.
5) Interview finally airs where celebrity admits to doing something.
6) I feel the urge to shoot the people who are still discussing this non-event!
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Because nothing says news in America…well, you can’t really make a joke about it. News in America is a joke, says this news junkie.
Luckily my internets are mostly free of this kind of news.